


Newspaper Gossip

by Nectardust



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Other, Parody, Public Punishment, Pure Crack, Read into any pairing you want if that's your thing?, Spanking, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-29 15:12:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19402903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nectardust/pseuds/Nectardust
Summary: A Tokyo newspaper comments on some rather odd behavior concerning the legendary Sailor Senshi.





	Newspaper Gossip

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted in 2007. Unbeta'ed and unchanged from original post.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any anime, least of all Sailor Moon.

_Senshi_ _have a Spanking Good Time_

_by: Zokuwa Tomo  
_

_Photographs by: Tsukino Kenji  
_

Several eye-witnesses have given insight on a subject that has so far baffled Tokyo residents: how do the famous Sailor Senshi behave when they're not fighting the monsters that seem to appear randomly in our city? The answer may shock and surprise you. Though many have speculated about the mysteries of our local super-heroines, none have proven fact. Today, however, that changes.

Dozens of victims from a single incident were present to see the events described below. Based both on eye-witness accounts and photographic evidence, the general public will no longer have to wonder at the behavior of our favorite heroes. What do the Senshi do best? Fight monsters? Or maybe that's only a small part of who they are. Who are they, then, and what can we learn about them through one single glimpse into the abnormality of their lives?

All who were interviewed agree to the basic happenings that occurred at the fountain in the center of the local park in the Minato-ku District of Japan. The motivations involved on the Senshi's part are rather vague, but onlookers were definitely privy to the actions of the event.

We're still not sure how it happened. One teenager close enough to the scene swears that the youngest Senshi, Sailor Chibi Moon, stuck her tongue out at her older blonde counterpart and ran away giggling. The older Senshi, enraged, snarled and yanked the pink-haired child back to her side. With the park fountain conveniently behind her, the older Moon Senshi tugged the younger one onto her lap and proceeded to give her the spanking of a lifetime.

Chibi Moon hollered and struggled, but it seems Sailor Moon does display some sense of strength, even though it never shows on the battlefield. Minutes went by and many onlookers had to back away for fear of damaging their hearing. When Chibi Moon stopped crying to breathe normally, many said they clearly heard the blonde Moon Senshi calling the younger "a disrespectful brat who deserved the beating she was getting" and "a spore that should have a red bum to show the world how naughty she is" and other such degrading comments. The other Senshi only looked on fearfully from their spots surrounding their leader and the child-warrior. In fact, considering how out-of-control with anger the blonde Moon Senshi was, there is no telling how long the bum-swatting and child abuse would have continued had there not been interference.

Witnesses say they were astonished when the cloaked form of Tuxedo Kamen, the Moon Senshi's own personal protector, swooped down from the trees and promptly turned the tables on his rumored love-interest. Having not been present at the actual battle, the masked man appeared out of nowhere and witnesses cannot account as to where the he came from or how he got there. The Senshi seemed just as genuinely surprised, if their gasp of shock was anything to judge by.

None was more surprised than Sailor Moon when her hero quickly freed the yowling Chibi Moon, sat on the fountain's edge, and jerked the older Moon Senshi horizontally over his lap. Stunned, Sailor Moon just lay there for a moment, getting used to the new position with her bum in the air and her rather short sailor skirt riding high over her hips. The spanking Sailor Moon gave her younger protégé was nothing compared to what Tuxedo Kamen gave his rumored beloved. Witnesses confess that, at this point, many did black out from the sheer intensity of Sailor Moon's amplified screams. However, enough onlookers did manage to endure the pain and stay awake long enough to continue the tale for our esteemed reporters.

Tuxedo Kamen definitely knew what he was doing, and now many wonder if he has long been in the spanking business and if Sailor Moon is the only Senshi who gets to enjoy that privilege. As opposed to being fearfully silent during Chibi Moon's punishment, it is said that Sailor Mars loudly encouraged Tuxedo Kamen's behavior and that the Fire Senshi even contributed to the spanking, just a little. By the time both were fully satisfied that they'd hit Sailor Moon's rump enough times to last until next Millenium, even those farther from the scene could see the raw, burning redness that accumulated on the Moon Senshi's upper thighs. Many conclude it was only the proper punishment for taking a hand to the younger Moon Senshi's backside to begin with, and that Sailor Moon was only reaping what she sowed.

Is the spanking part of everyday routine for the Senshi, or is the night's happenings as shocking to them as it is to the public? Will the physical punishment tear a rift in the Senshi's bond or are they used to such phenomenon? Did the spanking really hurt all that much, or does this prove that the fabled Moon Senshi are actually crybabies in all aspects of their lives? Is this a certain indicator that Chibi Moon will be as much an inadequate soldier as her role-model for not being able to endure a single spanking? It is this reporter's guess that although the Senshi have increased strength, they have tougher backsides to bear the brunt of pain. This also calls into question: do the Senshi of the Moon deserve the title of Senshi if they act so unprofessionally and indecently in public?

It is many citizens' hope that in the future, Ms. Moon will use her power to properly punish the monsters in the city instead of turning her rage against her own soldiers.


End file.
